An annoying and irrelavant question.

[miyun]

I don't like making topics like this, and sometimes i think people who make topics like this are quite lame, without any common sense... i have tried some common sense, though i am curious what your opinions would be on the situation. ((i realize this part was completely unnecessary, but whatever))

anyway, i have recieved a message from a male friend of mine living in singapore who says he "likes" me. i don't really know of a way of saying that i do not exactly mirror those feelings exactly in a kind way without hurting his feelings more than i need to, because i'm sure it took a lot of courage to email me like that.

erm.. yeah. ._.'' *runs away*

[Ayska]

there it is! right there!!! RUN AWAY!!! lol that's what i always do... course not to the people i would want to continue to talk to but... actually i either ignore them and pretend it never happened or if i still want to hang out with them... i just tell them the truth. "i like you, i like hanging out with you, you're a great person, but i can't date you..." it's always turned out good for me. course i know others that it hasn't... but that's all i've got x?

good luck!!!

[Lady Elanor]

@Yue: Maybe this is a bit too simple... but what if you just ask him? Perhaps you worry about something that doesn't exist.

My god, why is this world so complicated? [img]confused.gif[/img]

[yukawai]

Hm, I'm having a similiar problem, only slightly deeper. But I'll talk about me later on. For you, now. These are all just my personnal opinion on about what kind of thing you could do, nothing sort of a list or anything ^^; They just seem to make sence to me.

First thing, set yourself and have it clear in your head what you want to say. That way you'll be able to elabore slightly your answer, not just say 'sorry' and drop it like that. Some meat doesn' make the words hurt less to them, but they'll probally hurt anyway if they are going to; no, some of your thougths around the answer will just make it easier to accept for them and draw some kind of 'please I'm quite sure of this so don't think 'oh I know if I push a bit she'll return my feelings!' '.

Second, if you can, do it from phone. If not that, then at least msn. REceiving a rejection from a email a monday morning is not, at all, a good week starter and you'll feel bad, never being sure if they received the message. It'll also avoid the person being unconfortable in a difficult situation. Girls starting to cry in the middle of informatic class because they just read an email from their boyfriend is not good. Same for boys, they don't want to read that at work or anything. So try direct communication if you can. I realise it's toughter for you, but it'll make easier for them.

Don't make thngs up if you don't know. I mean, if you'd like to explain why you just.. don't love him.. and he have every quality and is nice and all but you just don't, try not to say some kind of a reason. If there is none there is none. I think otherwise they'll just feel real bad for watever reason you stated ( I know I did anyway. Got me complexed and everything over something she had just made up for an explanation. Sometimes feelings like that just can't be explain, so sometimes it's best not to try to understand them.)

I can't really think of anything else for now.. Hope this is neither too late or too complicated or simple. It's a very hard moment for both people involved, try to take it easy and don't beat yourself with guilt because of it. You can do it!!Don't give up!
If you don't you don't ^^; I'm not sure I'm explaining all this well.


[sorry for the edit ^^; ]


Sorry for the extra long post ^^;;

<font color="#660033" size="1">[ January 18, 2005 10:36 PM: Message edited by: Yue ]</font>

[yukawai]

Why is it so complicated? Because it wouldn't be as fun otherwise! ^__~